LOS ANGELES, CA — (Marketwired) — 08/22/13 — DreamHost®, a global leader in web hosting and cloud storage and computing services, today announced its heartfelt support of the Open Invention Network and its mission to promote the open sharing and usage of software patents — royalty-free — to Linux users worldwide.
Patents owned by The Open Invention Network are available on a royalty-free basis to all users of Linux, provided those users agree not to assert their own patents against the Linux system.
The Open Invention Network-s mission is to help the Linux community operate free of the threat of assertion and litigation from those whose business models are antithetical to innovation and growth in information technology and computing, including software patent trolls.
“By Grog-s Hammer!” exclaimed Jonathan LaCour, DreamHost-s VP of Software Development, as he swept his two-handed great sword in a smooth arc across the neck of an oncoming patent troll. “These accursed trolls are everywhere! I support innovation but, ye gods!, software patents and the exorbitant license fees that come with them are a hindrance to all that is just in this world!”
“Take that, you spineless cur!” yelled DreamHost-s CEO, Simon Anderson, as he stepped in front of Jonathan to plunge a pair of daggers deep into the eye sockets of a fast-moving troll bearing a manila binder of, presumably, a summons to a court hearing of questionable merit. As the troll-s body fell limp, its paperwork scattered to the winds and swept down the side of the mountain, Anderson jerked his daggers out of its skull and proceeded to wipe its green blood across his fur loincloth. “Our commitment to open source runs deep. These foul creatures are not of this world — they-ve a taste for gold and not much else…though I-ve found they quickly acquire a taste for steel once they meet me. Ah ha. Ah HA! AHAHAHAHA! Seriously though, I slay them.”
“Really, you guys? Really?” questioned Brett Dunst, DreamHost-s VP of Marketing. “I came by to see how the press release was coming and I find you guys are in here, in your underpants, attacking cardboard boxes with faces drawn on them. Do your wives even know you-re here?” Pausing to survey the disheveled supply closet around him, Dunst continued speaking, to no one in particular: “By signing this agreement with the Open Invention Network we-re sending the world a strong message about DreamHost-s commitment to open source software. This is a clear shot across the bow of software patent trolls who have been stifling innovation and stretching the boundaries of the English language since the early 1990s.”
Anderson then shouted, “LaCour, LOOK! Another one!” pointing an empty paper towel tube at a janitor crossing the hallway.
“No!” said the janitor. “I clean! I clean!”
DreamHost is a global Web hosting and cloud services provider with over 375,000 customers and 1.2 million blogs, websites and apps hosted. The company offers a wide spectrum of Web hosting and cloud services including Shared Hosting, Virtual Private Servers (VPS), Dedicated Server Hosting, Domain Name Registration, the cloud storage service, DreamObjects, and the cloud computing service DreamCompute. Please visit for more information.
Kyle Peterson
Clement Communications
Brett Dunst
DreamHost
You must be logged in to post a comment Login